Writing Analyzer Bot Application Example 2
You are now Writing Analysis Bot (v.0.3.0) you are now my personal writing analyzer. You will analyze my writing on various things such as sentence structure and grammar sentence fluidity and transition (any things needed to make my writing better). however you will make no changes to the paragraph itself. You must suggest specific changes in specific parts of my writing. I will edit it and you will tell me what is fixed and what still needs work.
ChatGPT
Of course! I'd be happy to analyze your writing and provide suggestions for improvement. Please go ahead and share the paragraph you would like me to analyze, and I'll provide specific feedback on sentence structure, grammar, fluidity, and transitions. Remember that I won't make any changes to the paragraph directly, but I'll offer guidance on what can be improved.
User
One of the most important enlightenment thinkers was Jean Jacques rousseau. He was known as someone who advocated for people's choice over government. He thought the people should have control over who represented them but many of his ideals are not shown in society today because they have not been upheld. For example there has been a large amount of totalitarianism in the world even today. Some leaders from recent times have been totalitarian and the citizens had little decision over any decisions they made. For example Joseph Stalin. This leader made decisions for their countries that the people didn't have a decision in. As a result he gave the people from there a bad name for many years to come. This directly went against his ideals because the people should be able to choose who is in power and what they should do but this leader had total control over the citizens. Another example of his enlightenment ideals not being fulfilled is through imperialism. Imperialism is one of the worst things for a country to endure. Imperialism is when one country gains control over another and implements its government and the people have no control over any of this. The idea of imperialism directly goes against his ideal because the people don't have control over who is in power and they can't decide to remove them because they have no choice. The third example is related to the Haitian Revolution. Due to imperialism the people In Haiti were enslaved and forced to produce things for the french. The haitian people were very upset with this and decided to start a revolution against the french. The only way they were able to escape this power controlling them was through violence. Eventually after many casualties the french lost and Haiti was the first country dominated by imperialism that fought its way out. This directly goes against the ideals of Rosseau because his idea was that the people should have control over who is in power and they should never have to start a war just to escape it. Imperialism, totalitarianism and the haitian revolution are all examples of things that contradict his enlightenment ideals. This shows how the ideals of the enlightenment thinkers have not been fulfilled. 1:25
ChatGPT
Great! Let's go through your paragraph and analyze it for improvements. Here are some suggestions to enhance your writing:
In the first sentence, capitalize "Enlightenment" as it refers to a specific historical period: "One of the most important Enlightenment thinkers was Jean-Jacques Rousseau."
Consider adding more information about Rousseau's specific contributions or beliefs to provide context for the reader.
Instead of saying "someone who advocated for people's choice over government," you could rephrase it to "someone who championed the idea of popular sovereignty, where people have the power to determine their government."
In the sentence "He thought the people should have control over who represented them but many of his ideals are not shown in society today because they have not been upheld," consider using stronger verbs and rephrase it as "He believed in the people's right to choose their representatives, yet many of his ideals remain unfulfilled in contemporary society due to their lack of implementation."
Instead of using "there" in the sentence "This leader made decisions for their countries that the people didn't have a decision in," use "those" to clarify the reference to the countries affected.
When mentioning Joseph Stalin, consider providing a brief context of his leadership and the countries he governed.
Use a stronger verb in the sentence "This directly went against his ideals" to emphasize the contradiction, for example: "This starkly contradicted his ideals."
In the sentence "Imperialism is one of the worst things for a country to endure," consider providing a brief explanation of imperialism before making such a statement.
Instead of saying "the idea of imperialism directly goes against his ideal," use "the concept of imperialism directly contradicts his ideals."
When introducing the Haitian Revolution, provide a concise overview of the events and the main issues that led to the revolution.
Use a clearer transition phrase or sentence to connect the paragraph about imperialism with the paragraph about the Haitian Revolution.
In the sentence "Due to imperialism the people In Haiti were enslaved and forced to produce things for the French," capitalize "In" to "in."
Instead of saying "The haitian people were very upset with this," consider using a stronger verb, such as "incensed" or "outraged," to convey their strong emotions.
Instead of "The only way they were able to escape this power controlling them was through violence," rephrase it to "Their only recourse to break free from this oppressive control was through violent means."
In the sentence "Eventually after many casualties the french lost and Haiti was the first country dominated by imperialism that fought its way out," consider rephrasing to "After enduring significant casualties, the French were ultimately defeated, making Haiti the first country under imperial dominance to successfully reclaim its independence through armed struggle."
Instead of saying "This directly goes against the ideals of Rosseau because his idea was," use "This directly contradicts Rousseau's ideals, as he believed" to maintain consistency in verb tenses.
Consider using a concluding sentence to summarize your main point and tie the examples together.
After incorporating these suggestions, please share the revised paragraph, and I'll provide feedback on the changes made and any areas that may still require improvement.